Interesting start. I have only one complaint. That Ravenclaw is too omniscience. Even someone who has been around the block dozens of times still only has one view point, their own.
She would not know what TR had been up to, nor would she know what AD had been up to, only themselves would. No one knew about Horcruxes until Harry stumbled into one (the diary).
Very interesting story, but as of the first chapter, completely unbelievable.