You speak of shrubbery and therefore I'm interested, not that I nee! to be so blunt.
Eh? ASIO deserves some spelling out. Also, the backstory uses a lot of past tense (did, made) when past perfect (had done, had made) would be better.
Terror with a dash of mustard. I like it.
So far, this is strange but not actually funny, although the prospect of using blueberry muffins to save the world is a new one.