I love the drama of that thought you have given Zxel, that losing Roxas is like an artist losing his/her hands. That is such a melodrmaatic and overworught thought to have and it seems to me that the nobodies often show the extremes of emotions in the game as if they were given too many human feelings rather than lacking all of them.
Your metaphors are quite lovely. I like one about damp wood especially.
I really enjoy the idea of Namine coming to visit Axel in his distress as if she pities him and feels she owes him an explanation since she has a link to Roxas as well.
I like the way that Zxel broods on this afterwards and he would brood on it wouldn't he? He'd feel jealous that Sora dn Roxas share some kind of connection. It also seems like the Organizationb members have especially childish emotions at times and children's emotions tend towards extremes as well - a scraped knee can be a vital injury.
I love the idea of Demyx's little encounter with Roxas which he describes. You know, I adore the way that you are able to make these characters react like they ought to instead of turning the interactions between them into a sex-fest, which seems to be very prevalent in this fandom.
I adore the way that Demyx is so perceptive and annoyed with Axel's snit fit and the way that he points out that veryone misses Roxas. I like the idea that Roxas contained something a little more vital than the other Org. memebers, that little piece of Sora that made him stand out from everyone else.
I really like the way as well that Axel misinterprets Roxas' mumblings in his dreams as evidence that he does remember things he is not supposed to. It's amazing when an author can base the character's reactions on the limited knowledge which they possess rather than letting his/her fuller knowledge of events carry him/her away.
I really enjoyed this story. It's an example of what I have been craving for in Axel/Roxas fic but which few people are able to deliver.