I like your style of writing (:I'm not sure what exactly about it it is, it just makes me want to read more, and I was actually disappointed when I found out there was only one chapter (: Aha, might just be me though.
Somehow I prefer this to the other story you have going on at the moment, i love where this is going ( so far, which is really no-where as it's the first chapter .. but yeah) and I can't wait for you to carry on, I'm sure you two will make a great team xD
/“What does she look like?” he questioned. Joe was about to respond when Patrick let a laugh go.
“According to Pete, she has medium black hair, and tends to look over here the most,”
/
Loved this bit. I don't know why, I'm really not that helpful. Just made me laugh.
And the whole thing about the sugar made me smile as well, poor Patrick. xD
Update soon!?