a little early for establishing ships, but i do like the ideas so far.
though, is it just me or are you switching from present to past tense every now and then.
some of the details need more attention, i think. just so we have a better image of exactly what it is you are trying to say.
you also seem to be jumping a little bit, the dialogue wasn't really smooth between lily, sirius and amelia.
otherwise really good and i look forward to see the story (and you)progress in to something brilliant, it (you) definitely has (have) the potential. congrats.