(#) brad 2009-05-08
Still wondering what assistants/assistance Harry has at Hogwarts to help him in his vigilante reprisals and 'condition' Dumbledore.
The 'look into my eyes' power has to be explained at some point, otherwise this becomes an (even more) unbelievable story with a Harry who can do anything, yes?
Flobber worm as a wand core - funny! :-)
Overlaying a Fidelius with another - funny and clever, too. Although the possessor of the second secret won't be able to disclose it to anyone who isn't privy to the first, I would hope/wager; i.e. the two charms are conjunctive.
I'm glad you introduced an element of suspicion as to the altruism of Harry's new benefactors ... you can't have everything too black and white. I think Remus and Sirius helping Harry in warding off some (otherwise unrealised by Harry) direction would work out well in this story.