Excellent dialogue and a captivating story; I await the next installment with glee!
However...
Everyone seems to be acting reasonably, and therein lies the worry. Here comes the upstart Harry, hell-bent on transforming the British Magical world to suit his idea of what's appropriate. I would expect there to be a 'back to values' reaction to Harry's quirky muggle devices. They have up til recent years been treated as heresy yet the conservatives are remarkably silent, aside from a fanatic's ill-conceived plan to bring back the boogeyman to make it all ugly again. I very much enjoy the Marvel cameos and I swear you accidentally channeled Robert Downey Jr.'s performance when writing Tony's dialogue. The story is alive, but I think it needs a stronger antagonist, or Harry will roll over this quaint backwater culture like a German Panzer cruising through the Ardennes.
wh
Author's response
- All very true, but it's still just second year...
- It will be third year when the Patil/Starktech toys start showing up in Diagon... Nothing to fancy at first, cd players, simple texting devices, hand held video games, all modified to work around magic will start showing up on the Express and at Hogwarts, generating a bit of hate and discontent among the old guard families (and among their children who won't be allowed any of the spiffy new toys)
= In fairness, I wrote most of what dialog Tony had before the film came out (or at least before I saw it), so they're copying me...
- Tom is going to be a plenty strong antagonist, as soon as he can get re-embodied... End of fourth year, as per schedule...
- Harry hasn't really had that much in the way of challenges yet, beyond the Troll and Dumbledore first year. He isn't going to the Chamber, and Sirius is already sprung from the big house...
- Harry's life won't get all that interesting again until 4th year...