Honestly I'm unwilling to work my way through the dross to reach any sort of point of interest in this story. You can set up a word filter to replace defiantly with definitely in most any Word Processor with four menu clicks, and if you'd actually wait a few days for your brain to untangle then reread your chapters you'd catch most of the blatant word errors yourself without needing a beta. I know just how difficult it is to catch them when in your mind you typed it correctly - your eyes gloss over them and you move on. If you wait a few days you'll generally catch the errors you missed before.
It begins interestingly enough, however by the second chapter Harry becomes even more of a doormat than he was in the previous books in canon.
Frankly, you've followed many other authors in the arena of emo bullshit Harry - honestly, an abused child has to learn how to survive or become broken well before the summer of Harry's fifth year. Honestly, you expect Dumbledore to have told Petunia of all people about all the ramifications of the blood protection or Voldemort? Especially when the protection is more for them than for Harry in the first place?
He gets 3 months of the year, they get 9. Also, the vaunted "Blood Protection" would have been rendered thoroughly useless if it was anything other than a misdirection and attempt at security through obfuscation in the first place. Mifalda Hopkirk keeps records I'm sure, and EVERY person on the Wizengamot heard exactly where Harry lived in the summer when he was on trial.
I'm sorry, I just can't reread any more stories that start with just this sort of emo bullshit and flawed logic anymore - I'm offering logical advice on how to improve your writing and move away from the cliche.
If you want to write a soap opera I suppose you started quite well, I can't stand that sort of drivel either. I've read the other reviews, and 440,000 words to get between point a and point b of a story is really far to verbose if you expect to keep an audience of more than a few viewers. Most novels are a mere 60-70k words for a reason, you have a story the length of 6 full length novels before the first kiss of one of the premier characters in your pairing...
In closing, I'm glad someone likes it and more power to whoever can make it through the first few chapters - it just isn't for me.
Author's response
Thank you for your comments. I do not agree with them all but each person is allowed to have their own interpretation of the books.
As for your other tips, I thank you. It is nothing I have not already tried but at least you thought of something. Being dyslexic just means that no matter how many times I re-read I can not see the errors, ever. That was my resoning for asking for help. But thank you for trying to be helpful.
Hope you find the type of story you are after, I just like long stories so that is what I write.
Cheers
Easysurfing