Interesting! Quite interesting and exciting! I really am looking forward for more of this universe.
I can imagine, it's difficult but PLEASE pay attention on the personal pronouns; i.e. here: "...Orestes could see her friend sitting up." It was not the only time - it was the last.
Don't panic, like I said, I really want more of this ;)
"Mischief mangaged"
AKOM