This is how bored I am right now. Corrections, edits and suggestions marked in bold (well, hopefully they'll be marked in bold – it all depends on whether ficwad is working today or not).
Harry Potter sat in his room watching his #2 pewter cauldron boil off the last of the contents impuritiesPERIOD The potion he had brewed was in the final stages and had only to steep for another few moments before it was finished.
Harry had come back to #4 Privet Drive 3 weeks ago with a plan of sorts to improve his physical health and stamina so that the next time he came across a death eater or Voldemort himself he would at least be physically prepared for it.
While quidditch had improved his stamina and overall physical fitness over the yearsCOMMA he was still well behind his year mates in every respectPERIOD His parentsAPOSTROPHE he had been told were both tall and athletic in buildPERIOD It bothered Harry that his stunted growth from years of malnutrition had robbed him of that part of his heritagePERIOD So he had done reserch while Ron and Hermione had been cooped up in the hospital wing after the debacle that was the 'Battle of the DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES.'.
He had finally found a very complex potion that would help himPERIOD The first effect was a variation of skelogrow and it would for all intents and purposes regrow his bones so that they would grow to their natural maximum potential then strengthen them. NO PARAGRAPH BREAK HERE! The second effect would fix any damage done to his soft tissues due to DELETE HIS not getting enough food or exercisePERIOD While in his formative years this would have the effect of increasing his stamina and possibly correctING his eyeREMOVE SPACEsightSEMICOLON but that was not assured as his father had worn glasses and could be DELETE A hereditary DELETE THING.
The reason he hadn't heard of DELETE IT AND REPLACE WITH “THIS POTION before his secret forays into the restricted section that week DELETE COMMA was that the Ministry had banned it as too dangerous hundreds of years ago for the very good reason that it would kill just as many people as it helpedPERIOD There was a footnote IN THE BOOK that STATED even if done perfectly if there was even the smallest impurity in the potion IF SOMETHING IS DONE PERFECTLY THEN THERE WOULD BE NO IMPERFECTIONS it would most likely kill or seriously maim the drinker.
So after several days of serious thought Harry decided to go ahead with the potionPERIOD THE DRIVING FACTOR FOR HARRY'S DECISION WAS THAT DELELTE AS his godDELELTE HYPHENfather had just died due to his inability to handle the death eaters quicklyPERIOD ALSO his friends had been injured and almost killed for the same reason.
Everyone he had ever loved had died or been hurt because of himPERIOD DELETE AND For those that had NOT BEEN HURT OR KILLED YET it was only a matter of time before they too lost their lives or were seriously injuredPERIOD Even so he might not have taken this extreme action but for the fact of the prophesy, there was no way he could kill voldemort as he was now and he desperately wanted to make sure his friends lived I have no idea what you wanted to accomplish with this sentence! So with that in mind he had taken the decision to move ahead with the potion.
Harry checked his watch again and grinnedSEMICOLON 2:43 am it was timePERIOD The potion was a deep blue in color and was watery in texture with the occasional puff of gas boiling off the surface.
It smelled atrociousCOMMA but then most potions didPERIOD He didn't think it would taste any better than polyjuice but it had the aspect of looking better than that grey glupy potion Hermione had concocted their second year at Hogwarts.
Harry took the flame away from the cauldronPERIOD HE DELETE AND was going to let it cool AND then fill a vile and chug it down and hope for the bestPERIOD But first he needed to use the loo.
Harry cracked the door and heard the dulcet tones of his relatives snoring awayPERIOD They would give a heard of Hippogryphs a run for their galleons in the noise departmentPERIOD He snorted at the image and hurried to the loo.
As he was returning with a small bounce in his step he slammed right into the considerable bulk of Vernon Dursley then fell on his backside with a muffled "oopf!"
"What in gods name is that smell boy!" he snarled menacinglyPERIOD "I thought the septic system had backed up it was so foulPERIOD But then I realized it was coming from your room!"
Vernon clamped his beefy hand into Harry's hair and lifted him to his feetPERIOD Harry protested "Its just a potion! its nothing dangerous!"
"WhatAPOSTROPHEs it supposed to do exactly?" he growled at harry.
Mentally shruggingCOMMA Harry decided to tell the truthPERIOD "It's supposed to help optimize health and increase staminaPERIOD But it's only got a 50 percent chance of working."
Vernon squinted his beady eyes at HarryPERIOD "what happens if it doesn't work?" he asked shrewdly.
Harry knew he was on slippery ground herePERIOD If he told his uncle he could quite possibly die if it didn't work he might actually encourage Harry to drink it.
"There is a very good chance that if it doesn't work it will kill me outright or horribly disfigure me." he explainedCOMMA trying to make the death or disfiguring part sound much more likely.
Vernon grinned in a way that made Voldemort look friendlyPERIOD He DELETE AND looked to his wife and son DELETE AS THEY who had been woken by the shoutingCOMMA DELETE AND WANTED eager to watch whatever punishment harry had earned this time.
"Increase your health and stamina EH?" his uncle asked rhetorically. "What happens if there's something extra in that reeking stew of yours?"
Harry's complexion blanchedPERIOD He hadn't thought of thisSEMICOLON if his uncle added anything it would surely kill him.
"I-I d-don't know!" Harry stutteredPERIOD He was scared now and had no idea what he should do.
VernonCOMMA who still had a hold of Harry's hairCOMMA DELETE AND motioned to his whale of a sonPERIOD "Grab hold of him Dudley." DELETE HIS UNCLE SNARLED -the way it's written says that Dudley's uncle is barking orders.
Dudley wrapped his pudgy but strong arms around Harry's thin body and held him tight restricting his chest enough to force him to take shallow breaths.
Vernon reached into his house coatDELETE S – it makes the coat plural pocketDELETE S – it makes the pocket pluraland pulled out a small bottle of pillsPERIOD "Wanted to increase your stamina I suppose you were going for “heh” but I'm not sure. Also delete the exclamation point – you should never mix punctuations!?" Then shook the bottle in HarryAPOSTROPHEs face.
"WellCOMMA letAPOSTROPHEs just make sure its got enough of the right stuff then." He fumbled the bottle open in his excitement and shook out a pill which he unceremoniously dropped one of the small blue pills into the potion.
I'm just going to stop here. At first glance, it would appear you have the grammar and spelling skills of a First Grade student. However, you sometimes forget to capitalize the H in Harry's name but type it correctly other times. There are a few sentences where you forget to capitalize the first letter but get it correct in others. You have a loathing of the period since it only appears a few times. On the other hand, you beat the ever loving shit out of the comma.
My conclusion: you are a very lazy writer. The fact that your errors are inconsistent tells me this (if you truly didn't know much about grammar and proper spelling, then every time you wrote “Harry” it would've been “harry”. The same goes for contractions – some are written properly but a number of them are missing apostrophes). You could have easily spotted these errors in a quick read through. I've seen a number of your reviews practically beg you to correct these errors yet you continue to do them. This only reaffirms my conclusion.