This wasn't a grim as I had imagined from the description. I think it is well told. Maybe you should try a 20 years later epilogue, lord knows it "worked" for others. Thanks for writing. W.
Author's response
Thanks there, Wolfric! About half of the reviewers didn't like it at all. Most said it was too cliche, though almost all liked the 'ballet of Death'.
That 20 year later epilogue isn't exactly a glowing recommendation, you know, though now that you mention it, I could do a short piece to review the damage.
I'll have to put it on the back burner as I have several projects in work just now.
Alorkin