Review for For I Did Not Loathe Myself Any Longer

For I Did Not Loathe Myself Any Longer

(#) MyFamousLastWords 2009-10-15

I absolutely loved this so fucking much! Man, I could relate so much it's unreal.

Learning to get control and then finally being able to stop is the most important thing. I stated when I was 10,
and now that I'm actually going to do something about it - this story sort of all just filled it all up I guess.

The parts where it said:

To be honest though, the thought of my body empty of all blood frightened me after much consideration.
No matter how tempting the idea seemed, at the end of the day the thought of it sent chills up and down my spine. I did not desire a razor blade to be
the death of me. It seemed inevitable in a way. It seemed logical that the end of my life would be at the end of a blade. This left me wondering if
logic always gained victory in the end.
If I knew one thing for sure, it was that I was not about to wait and discover the answer for myself. I needed to give up cutting, and it needed
to be now for I was sure that I did not have much longer.


At times the uphill battle became too much to bear, and I was forced to surrender.
Relapse after relapse would occur each time the blade was removed from underneath my mattress. One can lose a battle, but the war has not yet been
lost. Battles add up after awhile though. One can only lose so many battles before the enemy wins the war. I was beginning to convince myself that
this war would be the death of me. When I hit rock-bottom I was prepared to surrender one final time and lose this war forever.
It was during my darkest moments that I realized that one can only gain victory over an opponent if one can gain victory over themselves. I had to
burn myself down in order to build myself back up from my ashes. I allowed myself to hit an ultimate low. When the hole I dug could not be any
deeper I proceeded to burn all of what was left of me.

It felt like it was written directly to me, now I'm just rambling on and shit but damn, I loved it. Really.
Sorry fot this being so long!


F oxox.

Author's response

Congradulations on your decision to do something! It takes alot
of courage just to have the desire to stop so I praise you on your

Also, I'm thankful that the sections that you felt described you most
were the happier ones. Those parts are truly the ones that represent
hope and I'm glad you noticed. There is hope in every mess. I think
all of us in this type of situation just need to find it.

x mysilentromance