Draco definitely needed to become a human pizza. AS for Hermione, as t she came a close second. Now again 'as written'. I'm highly aggitated in how Hermione was written here almost as though she was a hermione-ish version of a 2 dimensional Ron Weasley.
My other point was the fact that Ginny has done very little here to warrant Harry's favor, and I remember well how she hurt him as much as she did on HBP.
Still I do like the way you have rewritten Harry's character as a take non crap kind of guy. Almost like another Harry, a detective from San Francisco!
;-)
Overall a very entertaining story, i just hope this Hermione sees the light and why not much of Ron Weasley here yet?
Author's response
Thanks for the review. I see Draco as a spineless gob-shite; an ankle-biter of the first water.