Review for Harry Potter and The Mind

Harry Potter and The Mind

(#) wordhammer 2009-12-16

Finally Harry is beginning to loosen up with Hermione- their relationship to this point seemed almost calculated on Harry's part. I thought it was well-chosen that Harry wouldn't take her back as a friend until she gave up trying to shift blame in her apology; this was to me very in-character for Hermione.
I realise this story is already complete, but should you decide to revise it, I would recommend that Harry reveal his more vulnerable side to Hermione before their relationship developed. His exhibited control is too complete- we don't see why he would desire or trust anyone to become that close to him.
Just my two cents.

wordhammer

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Author's response

Interesting point. I'll keep it in my notes. Thanks for your review.