(#) olafr 2009-12-18
Excellent, thanks for posting.
I was initially worried that this story was going to descend into the usual morass of cliches, but you avoided that adroitly, adhering to your plot firmly and telling the story with some flair.
I think there are a number of plot holes, but bluntly, who cares? Your use of closure to allow the reader to fill in unneeded detail in the story was very well done. Added to the consistent plot, and I found the story compelling reading.
Thank you again for sharing it with us.
Author's response
Thank you. Looking back on the finished work, there are things that I probably would have mucked about with... but that may not have actually improved anything. ;-)