Haha "we're no Edward Cullens" ... Loved that touch. I hate how that movie ruined vampire stories and now everything is flooded with them. But yours is actually decent. I like it. It's funny. And descriptive. And you dragged out the story just the right amount, not jumping straight into it but not letting me get bored. I really like it, its really great. Did you say you were posting it somewhere else too?