Review for Forever and Ever

Forever and Ever

(#) Paramour 2010-05-05

ooh, I knew it. I so knew it about Anna and Claire. dances I CAN MAKE BASIC CONNECTIONS! YAY ME!

All right, so I've never reviewed this before and I SHOULD have, so here I am, making up for it with a veeerrrryyyy long review that will be chock full of compliments and the occasional constructive criticism. Because that's just how I roll.

Mmkay, firstly, I like how you make Claire's and Anna's speech so archaic sounding. (also, it was the first thing that gave it away for me.) It's a great foil of the rest of their speech, with the cursing and contractions they use. Very nice touch.

Secondly, you now have me filled with a burning desire to know EXACTLY what Anna is up to, because quite frankly, her Gerard obsession is a mite creepy, to me anyway. Also, I want to know what bad memory she has that caused her to throw a man across a room.

Thirdly, your subtle clues are simply delicious. I love how you refer to the past vaguely, and give no time frame, such as 30 years ago or something of that sort. You can pace yourself well.

Fourthly, (here comes the concrit), make sure you throw in a few commas, or periods, to break up those uber long sentences you write. They're excellent in moderation, like everything else, but remember, don't be afraid of short sentences :]

I should stop now. O.o

Hope this helped/didn't bore you!