I found this story to be very moving, and very realistic in this day and age of the real world. In complete honesty, I didn't really like the way that JKR written her story about Harry.
Both Snape's and Dumbledore's characters have always actually disgusted me in the books. Dumbledore because he manipulates people, hides the truth from people, and doesn't fully explain everything, as well as making people feel guilty for stupid bullshit (which is also "mental abuse, I might add). And Snape is just a plain child abuser who needed to grow a pair of balls. That man was a childish, petty little boy who needed to be shot in the head.
As for JKR's character of Harry in the books, I found him too much of a sissy and he let everyone walk all over him. I understand that the books are made for kids, but in all honesty, if that bullshit were to happen here in the states, both Snape and Dumbledore would be tossed either into prison or lost their jobs.
I didn't mean to go all the way with what I said up there, but I absolutely loved your story.
Author's response
Thank you. I appreciate that. I wrote it on the manner of a police report. each thing has a date and time,and each progressed along a logical and consistent timeline.
And you will find at least one person who agrees with you on these subjects. I grew up abused...not as badly as little Harry did, but it was close. Beatings, starvation and broken bones were the norm at our house.
As a police officer and later while I was with the Marine Corps, I saw the effects of abuse far to closely.
I also find myself in complete agreement about Ol' Twinkles. Dumbledore is actually a worse villain than Voldemort. His penchant for keeping things to himself until just after they could have done some good is criminally offensive, and in a military view, treasonous.
JKR had Harry's character completely wrong. Though she was following the Arthurian legend, she pushed the abuse too far. Even Sir Ector treated Arthur exactly as his own son, Kay. He was tough on them, as was required by the times, and he favored his own son a little, but he was fair to them both. Had Harry really grown up like that, he would more likely have been like Dudley, Draco, or (God forbid) Dumbledore. He'd learn early how the manipulate the situation to his own ends, and never worry that others could be hurt.
As for Snape and Dumbledore...they disgust me as well. Losing their jobs here? You'd be surprised. There are so many who refuse to admit that there are those in a community who would do something so horrible as abusing a child, that they turn a blind eye to it. (See the above note.) In such a homogeneous, upper middle-class neighborhood where everyone is more concerned with scaling the corporate ladder and paying attention to the latest scandals, than actually seeing what's around them, Vernon has the perfect cover.
Shooting Snape in the head is too fast, too easy. Now in the belly...that's a different story. Or maybe in each shoulder and knee, and then slicing open his belly...with a rusty pickle fork.
(Insert evil chuckle here)
Thanks for your refreshing review. I prefer reviews that have something to say, whether I like to hear them or not, so go as far as you want.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Alorkin