(#) Vanir 2010-06-01
Not bad. Not bad at all. Normally i don't look at stories with this low chapter length as they tend to be written by illiterate, unimaginative 13-year olds, but this story looks very promising. I like the characters, i like the imagery and i like the language. However, you are running at high speed into the very trap that has almost killed my own story; an abundance of resources and details. It's easy to get lost in a jungle of details and trinkets. Beware, keep to a pre-planned storyline and don't get carried away. Great stories have died horribly from such things. Just some friendly advice. I want to see where you take this.
Vanir
Author's response
thank you for your review. I would like to say that there is a valid reason for the short chapter length; that reason being my inability to concentrate for long periods of time. I have a tendency to stop a chapter as soon as I have explained the chapter title. I think I might try and remedy that later on however. But I digress.
Generally I just write straight off the top of my head, but by the look of it you may be right, I may want to write out the general plan first.
On the subject of your own story, I enjoy it very much. If you have need of a beta I would be happy to do it.