Well, that was a fun chapter, though the presence of more typos than usual makes me wonder if you hurried it to post before the long weekend; no importa, they didn't interrupt the flow of the story anywhere near enough to spoil my enjoyment of this chapter.
I quite enjoyed the scenes in the Spanish prison, though I can tell you translated using Babelfish as the Spanish is rather stilted and formal (I'm not sure I agree with it's choice of certain verbs, I'd have used "quiero" instead of "deseo" and the appropriate conjugation of "chingar" instead of the word that software picked for "fuck" - grew up in Texas and have lived a fair bit of time there and in California as well as having three high school credits in Spanish). It looks like Dudley is slowly starting to mature, despite his parents, and may, with a lot of work, become a useful and responsible member of society; he's getting the chance and I hope he uses it. Vernon and Petunia, on the other hand, appear to be way too set in their ways and attitudes and are going to have a rather severe time under the regimen they have to adopt to stay out of prision.
The scene on the Express was a hoot (go, Dobby!) and I love that he took Draco down with no magic at all. I'm sure that will not enhance Draco's position within Slytherin and within Hogwarts in general (the number of mysteriously appearing rewards would indicate that there's a lot of sentiment against him and that'll likely start becoming more evident with his loss of face). That Cho is willing to do what's right rather than what's easy has to be a direct slap in Albus' face and I suspect he won't forget it. Severus and Draco just think they've seen pain, I rather suspect there's far more and far stronger pain coming as they are schooled in just how much power and control they've lost (that'll be painful enough but I suspect there's going to be physical chastisement, too). The song Harry convinced the Sorting Hat to use was a hoot: I'm sure it shocked a lot of the staff. That it was an effective advert for Harry's efforts was a nice touch, even though most won't realize that for a while (I'm inclined to think that Minerva is simply having trouble keeping from sniggering or laughing out loud). Hedwig's arrival was beautiful and I can just see the four eagle owls flying a 3-D diamond formation around her 'til she peels of for her "delivery run" (if we were talking about aircraft, that'd definitely be a "bombing run") and then reform around her to protect her from Dumbles' stupidity. The set-ups with Amelia and Alastor were nice set-pieces to further weaken and demoralize Albus, I wonder how long it'll take him to realize this. Meanwhile, he hasn't yet stopped to think about the implications of so many students withdrawing before the school year starts adn the hell that's going to play with his budgets.
The training was quite believeable and realistic and I can see where it's going to force Ron to mature. Harry's playing it right with Ron, showing him precisely why he has to "suck it up and get with the program"; you can't afford to carry someone in a combat situation. I rather suspect things are going to get somewhat more interesting once the students are used to the workout and start having even a little time to check out the opposite sex (I'm wondering how soon, if they aren't already, Neville and Susan will become an "item"). It's going to be an interesting year of training and I suspect you'll, of necessity, only be showing us the highlights that particularly advance the story.
BTW, should Tommy-boy order lots of headache potion, extra-strength, for September 19? Methinks Harry's going to endeavor to make it a most special day for Hermione.
Author's response
Heya Cat!
Typos? Really! I only found a few that I missed before posting. My final edit on this chapter took almost three hours and then I hit the wrong button, and hadda start over. I might not have been in the best of moods the second time 'round.
Babelfish. Yeah, as I indicated, the Spanish I speak is the Mexican variety. It's a lot different than formal Spanish. Unfortunately, most of what I know is not particularly polite. And I -do- know what 'chinga' means.
Texas, huh? I was born in Albuquerque, and my daughter was born in San Diego...and my wife died there.
Dudley: this is the only part of Books six or seven I'll use. Dudley did try to thank Harry, and he meant it. That alone shows he's capable of changing.
Dursleys elder: I agree. They're both beyond redemption. Each of them is gonna have to walk a very thin line to avoid prison.
Draco: What better way to rip his reputation to shreds than by having an unarmed, ickle firsty, hand him his ass?
'Rewards': Basically, you're right. When a bully is taken down, he loses all the 'respect' he used to have. From what I could see in canon, NOBODY, outside Slytherin, liked Draco. With Daddy on the lam, he has no 'official' threat. if he shows his new tat to anyone not in Voldy's social club, Bones will be all over him like a rash.
It's up to Snape to bolster his position...if he can. He'll be facing some problems of his own. Remember Harry now has control over 'The Daily Prophet' and the 'Quibbler' is sympathetic to him as well.
While I didn't want Cho in the group of Jedi, (It would cause too many problems) she's a strong personality. Telling Dumbledore to take the pin would have forced him to give it to another person, possibly someone in Voldemort's camp. THAT would have been the end of his tenure and they all knew it.
Pain: From time to time, yes. there'll be 'accidents'. Mostly it's the social pain that nobody will respect the little shit. Snape will take points, and Minerva and Filius(and eventually Pomona and Aurora), will restore them.
The sorting song: That was a lot of fun to write. I actually wrote it for another fic, but I couldn't get it to work. Meh. You might see it in the future in slightly altered form.
Minerva: (I'm inclined to think that Minerva is simply having trouble keeping from sniggering or laughing out loud)
Why do you think she was hyperventilating? I'd imagine when the feast and staff meeting were over, she'd return to her quarters and fall over laughing, before removing the memory and storing it in her hidden pensieve.
Be a hell of an ice breaker at parties, though, wouldn't it?
Setups & Albie: Are you kidding?: He's Albus toodamnmnaynames Dumbledore! He'll never realize! Things like this just don't happen to him! Harry's keeping him off balance for the time being. Even when he finally get's a clue, he's going to discount it, because...well, he's Albus Dumbledore!
Budget: Ooohhh, yeah! "But there comes among you...a savior strong and Brave.
With pockets full of gold, to share... if that is what you crave..."
Of course, he'll never see a knut of it, as Minerva will have gently ousted him, by then.
The owl guard: I'm more familiar with torpedo runs, but I'd imagine they're similar. I was actually thinking more of the helicopter scene from Apocalypse now. The only thing I didn't have was Wagner.
Ron: Yeah. I had to have Harry take him firmly in hand. If Ron behaved as he did in canon, even once, discipline would go down the toilet. Don't worry, he'll be making a few appearance in the near future.
For the first month, they'll be far too tired, and for the first couple months, far too busy, but after that, all bets are off.
Neville/Susan, are still just 'great friends'. Both are purebloods who grew up in proximity. The rest is still ambiguous. The only Firm Pairings I have now, are H/Hr, Mr/Mrs Granger, Tonks/Remus and Ron/Aint'gonnatellya.
As for the training, you're right. I'll show vignettes throughout the year.
Tommy's extra-strength pain relief: Is going to be a problem in the future. He's going to have Snape brew more and more powerful versions of the stuff over time...
Ah, Yes, Tommy will and no, Harry can't. They'll celebrate, but he's got sixty three other Jedi a dozen kids and twice that in support staff, not to mention the elves. He's got to keep everything as fair as possible. I have it worked out though.
On the other hand, Harry and Hermione will give Voldemort a pounding headache.
Thanks for the insight.
Until next time...
Alorkin