Review for Serpent Souls, Merged as One

Serpent Souls, Merged as One

(#) pazed 2010-08-06

This is pretty entertaining so far, if very fast-moving. Hope you have an actual plot in the works.

My picky comment is - please please please put some time into figuring out "who" Vs "whom". The frequent incorrect use of "whom" gets very irritating, I think it's been wrong every time you've used it.

The rest of your writing is rather good, particularly your dialogue; so, apart from hoping you can overcome that one bad habit, I look forward to more of a fun story. Thanks for writing ... p