Personally, I felt this was way, WAY to much of a deus ex machina. It began pretty good, meeting his parents and Merlin, the whole "Place Beyond Time And Space" twist to bring in dead people from a possible future was actually brilliant (though why only people from the future where he didn't go back? I'd find that suspicious, with the whole Schrödinger's Cat deal you've got going - until he's decided whether or not to go back, the future remains undecided, so they could just as easily have died in world where Harry did return. Why aren't they showing him the consequences of going back? Hm?).
Then, he began to make demands, concessions, if he were to go back. Wait, what?
Suddenly, being dead allows him to make a bunch of demands before he'll return to life? Why? If you'd at least just allow him to meet with Yoda and train in the force before pulling a Jesus Christ and returning three days later in perfect health... That'd actually be less tacky. Somehow, the dead (Merlin and Yoda in particular, apparently) can apparently send you back in time, rewrite the laws of reality, and rearrange the past as they please? WHY DIDN'T THEY DO SO BEFORE?!
I'm... Disappointed. It all began so well, even if things lined up a little too neatly (hey, cleaning up the Auror department? If they suspected someone, why the Bloody Hell didn't they do something about it earlier?! If everyone is so bigoted, why haven't the halfbloods/muggleborn done something about it?
And 70,000 W&W, 30 to 40 thousand of which are 16 or YOUNGER? Wow, your image of the population isn't at all skewed, especially given what we know of magical longevity. Really, either they've taken casualties on such a level that their entire society's been literally decimated seven times over (which doesn't make sense, unless the vast majority of the new generation are muggleborn)...
Hate to sound like a flamer, but I was really pissed, since it began so well...
#sigh#
Author's response
Thanks for your thoughts.
My sister FireLemming thanks you as well, as the nexus outside time was her idea. It was also necessary for the reasons I listed in Chapter two.
Yes, they could still die in the world he returns to, but they DID die in the one he left. His absence removed the block to Voldemort's power. Without that block, Ol' Snakey was able to do precisely what he wanted.
~Why aren't they showing him the consequences of going back? Hm?~
Their mere presences in that nexus -was- the consequence of his absence.
On the other hand, once he went back to before he died, since their deaths hinged on his, they were no longer dead, because they never died.
~Somehow, the dead (Merlin and Yoda in particular, apparently) can apparently send you back in time, rewrite the laws of reality, and rearrange the past as they please? WHY DIDN'T THEY DO SO BEFORE?!~
Harry is a locus. So is Voldemort. when two such loci exist at the same time, they are bound to come into conflict. If neither Harry nor Voldemort existed in his time frame, there would no problem. Since they did, there was. Merlin offered Harry the choice, because the consequences of his not doing so, were unacceptable.
~Suddenly, being dead allows him to make a bunch of demands before he'll return to life? Why?~
Harry didn't -have- to go back. Merlin offered him the choice of going on to spend the rest of whatever with his parents. He did however, tell him of the consequences of such an action. The world would fall in to anarchy and destruction. Harry's own conscience did the rest. He understood he could prevent the murders hundreds of millions of people by returning to what is in effect, an unwinnable fight.
His demands, are nothing more than to even the playing field. He can face Voldemort on his own. He can deal with Scrimgeour, on his own, he can even face off with the Deez (if he does it sneaky) but not all at the same time!
~If you'd at least just allow him to meet with Yoda and train in the force before pulling a Jesus Christ and returning three days later in perfect health...!That'd actually be less tacky.~
But not nearly so much fun.
~(hey, cleaning up the Auror department? If they suspected someone, why the Bloody Hell didn't they do something about it earlier?!~
Both Dumbledore and Malfoy are controlling the government. Fudge is morally corrupt, a blood...if not purist, at least elitist, and is firmly in Malfoy's pocket. As long as he's running things, there can be no advancement, especially where the 'mudbloods' are concerned.
~If everyone is so bigoted, why haven't the halfbloods/muggleborn done something about it?~
The same thing applies. If the mugglebornes/halfbloods were to actively oppose the governmental or traditional status quo, Fudge would declare them seditionists in a heartbeat, and have them imprisoned or killed. Look at how he was so willing to persecute Harry for the crime of being right...because-it-would-cost-him-his-job!
The population estimate is based on statistics. Roughly one third to one half of any population is below the age of sixteen. Of those, one half is below the age of ten. While I may have been somewhat off in my initial estimate, (I think I slipped a decimal) but the rest holds true. 74,000 W&W, is a sustainable population.
It also holds true that if the purebloods continue to inbreed the way they have been, the mugglebornes -will- be growing more numerous by the year. Inbreeding is a Baaaaddd thing. (Just look at Dubya!)
Don't worry about sounding like a flamer. I prefer reviewers to ask questions. I may have missed something.
Alorkin