(#) Vanir 2010-09-20
Very nice story. Here's the flamethrower. Your language skills are not quite up to par. I'll get back to that. You need more spacing in the text. You have sections so packed with letters that it becomes hard to read. The occasional hit on the
enter-button
will improve the reading greatly. Story-wise there are a LOT of clichés, but i don't really mind.
Normally i skip stories with the amount of typos and errors found in the first chapters but this one was too captivating to leave.
Good going, and keep at it. I want to see the rest.
vanir