First off, I'll agree with Cateagle above review.
Second, sheer brilliance.
Third, you got the middle names of Hermione and Umbridge backwards.
Fourth, this is how it should have ended. I mean really, the canon pairings were disturbing in ways that are the human mind wasn't meant to consider. And given the suddenness, I'm leaning towards potions being used on someone.
Nice shout out to Gestan from Beauty and the Beast.
I loved the shots at Rowling too. I mean really, I don't care if Snape proved not to be evil, only someone truly pathetis is going to name their kids after a guy that tormented you just because he was jealous of your father.
Author's response
People keep mentioning me getting the middle names backward. I'm well aware of what Rowling wrote and I purposely wrote it this way because I feel Jane was originally Hermione's but it was given to Umbridge in the series around the same time Hermione's characterization was drastically changed. Any Hermione I write should always remain Jane so long as she has her mental faculties about her.