I'm not a comics geek but I love Iron Man, so discovering this was /fantastic/... until I found it's incomplete! Pleeez, some more?! What will it take to get you to drop everything else and write only this and Distaff Side?
I would, if anything, dial Harry back ever so slightly. It would be great if he would be ignorant now and then, or even act his age once per term. Talk Like A Pirate was a good example--let the kids be kids more often!
I'm puzzled how he can flirt so effectively with H&P, yet be so clueless with Julie. Either he's Tony Stark's rakish Mini-Me or he's 12--toggling between them didn't work for me.
Yet for those objections, this STILL ROCKS.
Author's response
- I'm just over 1k words for the next chapter...
- With Hermione and Padma (and Susan and Hannah) he's goofing with friends. With Julie he was deep into his very first case of 'in love' Quite the difference.