Well, the idea was good.
But, however, there were several parts in which the wording led to a bit of confusion. Try running it past a beta-reader before you post. ^_^
And also, the comment about the legs exploding flew straight over my head. Also, I never quite understood what exactly happened to Alphonse during the transmutation.
Keep at it, though! You'll only get better and better.
Thank you for writing!
Author's response
Thanks for the comments. As for the exploding legs, Winry was joking that Ed would make such shoddy fake legs for Al that they'd probably blow-up the second he used them.