Patience, young padawan. The reviews will come if you give people time to get to their computers. L= just figured I'd say somethig.
Constructive criticism: The story's a bit..all over te place. Brig it in a bit and focus. Your idea is good. Also, if you have a spell check or grammar check handy, they are a writer's best friend.
I'm not giving you shit. I'm trying to help improve your writing--which has mounds of potential, girlie.
You can get somewhere with this. Just take deep breaths, possibly plan.
Look at me, I sound all assholey. I apologize. I'm just tryinna help. Tell me off if you wish.
--E
Author's response
Not assholey at all! i actully was just typin and i posted it because i didnt have anything up! i not good at spell check yet (blushes)