it was good but 3 things
1.Alot of spelling grammer and sorta doesnt make scence when they talk.
2.Need paragraphs.
3.Short and use quotation marks instead of - example "Hey archie"Atlanta said."Hi atlanta"Archie replied kindly.
Not to be mean..just some advice you know
Author's response
hi
sorry..
i am from mexico, i really don't know how to do a perfect story like the others.
thanks for the advice