I agree with balthazar on this story. This story is pure illiterate and you should know more about the characters before you post garbage like this.
My guess would be that this is your first story right? You should get a beta so that you can make a little sense. Also on that note you should also care about what your stories look like before you post them up onto a site such as ficwad or fanfiction.net, maybe also make sure that it makes sense before you post it or even hand anything into a teacher.
Seriously though... get a beta because they will help you with getting a character down and to help you with spelling and grammar.