FicWad

This is fantastic for a first attempt. It is really good. Very orginal as well.

There are only a few things that needed to be corrected on the subject of spelling and grammar. I hope this will help you.

1)grammer= grammar

2)In proper written English grammar it is incorrect to start a sentence with the word and or but, a conjunction. Don't worry about that though, most people ignore that rule when they write.

3)How her eyes would lit up with hope every time she would see a doctor or a nurse stepping into the room.

I'll edit this to fit grammar rules.
Depending on your verb tense this sentence can be written in either of these two ways:

How her eyes would light up with hope every time she would see a doctor or a nurse stepping into the room.

How her eyes lit up with hope every time she would see a doctor or a nurse stepping into the room.

4)I'm pretty sure by barley(that's a herb) that you meant barely.

5)Seeing as not really much people showed interest I was gladly accepted and am now working at the local hospital 5 hours a day.

This sentence sounds a little awkward so I'll rewrite.

Seeing as not a lot of people showed interest I was gladly accepted and am now working at the local hospital five hours a day.

Option two:

Seeing as not many people showed interest I was gladly accepted and am now working at the local hospital five hours a day.

That's it. Those are the only flaws I noticed. I hope that this will help. By the way, don't worry about your English so much. You speak it well enough for people to understand. Actually, this is sad, but you speak and write better English than half the people in my school do. I live in the United States too! It is pretty rediculous! Good luck with the rest of your story! Happy writtings!

-Adnarim Smada