The biggest thing I find myself saying here is: Show, Don't tell. That's one of the number one things to do in all writing. Show your readers through description, dialogue and feelings what's going on. Don't just tell us.
There's also some definite typo/misspellings, so I would recommend getting your story edited by someone else or just spell checked by some program.
You also tend to ramble on sometimes; you jump around a lot, and I know you're trying to tell us about the character, but take it slow and focus on one thing at a time.
Hopefully that helps you out. [: