Unrealistic, unclear story. Seems like many a time the writer just goes off on a tangent, writing with no relevance to the actual storyline which, though original, I do not think is well thought out or exciting. Could be a lot better.
Author's response
Well of course it is unrealistic? It's fictional. And it does have relevance; but that hasn't been revealed yet. If you're not enjoying it don't read it, no one is forcing you to read my fiction. But thanks for letting me know your opinion.
~Val.