Correct spelling, grammar and punctuation seems to be ignored by this author. In the first couple chapters you see the characters as children and assume the stinted sentence structure is a cute, clever trick to further portray that but it becomes evident in further chapters, when that style of mismatched writing continues, that the author just can't write maturely. I admit I could not make it to the end of the story because of the aforementioned reasons so cannot comment on the storyline but I'm definite the author has to pay more attention in English classes and drop the 'I made lots of mistakes, get over it' attitude.
Author's response
okay well i take well to criticism but if you hated my story that much why make a horrible comment. I know the speeling and grammar ect isn't correct neither the best, but as i pointed out i had written this way back, nearly a year and a half ago. This is my first so there is bound to be mistakes as i pointed that i had never done a frerard let alone a proper story. Everyone has to start somewhere as practise makes perfect, yet no one can be perfect but at least i have tried.
I didnt want to state this but i also have autisam and ADHD, therefore i suffer from spelling, reading and writing difficulties, so i have tried my hardest for that not to stop me from doing something i love and am very passhionate about.
I read back on this and know that my writing is rubbish but it's a start and i know that i can achieve higher. In my recent work i believe i have grasped english a lot maturely and hope to excell more in english.
I aim to write more formally and correctly, but the least you could do was to be a lot more mature and nice about my work then you have. I take well to criticism like i said but only when it's said in a polite correct manner thank you.