First of all you need to get someone who reads/writes/speaks English to translate this fic. Trust me when I say everything is wrong.
I only got through a few paragraphs(which were plagued with every kind of grammatical/punctuation error)before I gave up.
You have to put chapter titles on every chapter. No one is going to click on those numbers. When I first opened this fic I thought all the chapters were empty.
The spelling is pretty good and thanks for the effort.