Hey T, welcome back. I think I need to take up divination because I started rereading some of your old stories yesterday (Fist Full of Galleons, Younger Potter Twin), and ended up checking out your story list page in case there was anything I'd missed before.
Anyway, my review.. One thing I've noticed in your fics (or at least the ones I keep rereading) is that you tend to provide a detailed explanation of the history, politics and/or background of the scenario you've created. I agree that adds some depth to your world, but I feel that overdoing it distracts too much from what I think should be the real focus of the story; the main characters and how they are interacting with each other and what they are doing. In this first chapter for instance, where is the focus? If Harry and Hermione were removed from the scenes and replaced with Neville (for example) would anyone really notice the change?
Author's response
I have to admit the the first charge -- I'm a professional historian, thinking in terms like those are just natural to me. In some of my fics, I think I've explored character pretty well, in others, like this, I've focused on the situations. Still, I don't think anyone could take Harry and Hermione's place here. However, Hermione has played her active major role -- bigger guns are coming in to do the thinking