ok i would like to start by saying that i am not a troller person. I just speak my mind. I love your storyline. It really is great. However your grammar could be improved. You switch from past to present tense alot. Also you are aware that starbucks is gee's favorite coffee right? Or have you never seen life on the murder scene or read quotes from it? But anyway good story bad cliff hanger. K? Love ya bye!
Author's response
Hey no probs, i'm thankfull you are giving me help thanks :)
I know, i struggle with past and present a lot, i find it kinda hard lol i just don't have anyone to help me other than myself really, some of my fam members try but it isn't their strong point, and they arn't a big fan of frerard lol
i know gee's fav coffee is from starbucks, i just wanted his fave to be costa in this, i don't like the charaters to be too much like they are in real life. Plus i prefer costa :)
thanks, but i have to disagree, i did think my cliffhanger was pretty good, even if i do say so myself XD lol
i'll keep improving.
chazom
xx