You should pat yourself on the back for this. Truth be told, I've been following this chapter from the beginning and I love the way you word your sentences. Every chapter is eventful and you never seem to be stuck in a rut. It is a very different story. I guess it's also one of the first stories where the characters resemble the real people. The story seems to drag just a little bit. I'm not saying things don't happen, but they happen at a slightly slow pace. But I guess that increases the suspense. That's the only thing I wanted to say. Good job so far.
Author's response
... Is the way I word my sentences somehow different? Or am I just fat?
As for the slow pace, I won't go into any details because I don't want to give any spoilers, but one story twist takes like 40 chapters to progress... You'll see what I mean.
And thank you for the review!