FicWad

I am so pleased to have your fine story to read.

You write the following sequence:

"Would you be surprised if I said I wasn't sure?"

"You'd at least gain some points for honesty."

"Why her and not Lee, err Ginny?"

Don't forget; leave the closing quotation marks off when the same speaker is then immediately continuing talking. So you wanted:

"Would you be surprised if I said I wasn't sure?"

"You'd at least gain some points for honesty.

"Why her and not Lee, err Ginny?"

You've added some nice depth to Hannah Abbot's character. It's also nifty that you had her learn Occlumency.

Harry's instructions to Hedwig are good: Claw him if you feel like it. Shit on him too for good measure.

Perhaps oddly, this was the most disturbing part of the chapter for me:
"It took the callous adults less than one week to discover it and kill it in front of the horrified children."

You write: "finding nothing other then". You mean: "...other than"

You write: "If some gossip about you and I ...."

You want: "If some gossip about you and me ...."
or: "If some gossip about us ...."

This is a nice reference to HBP: "Everything I had heard up to this point led me to believe that you were Dumbledore's man through and through." This is a really good job of not letting anyone consider Harry to be OOC.

You probably want to modify this bit of dialogue, perhaps by combining three sentences into one:
"I realized this morning that if this war is to be fought. The leaders should want to win. They should be warriors and not politicians."
It's not a complete sentence. You could say, more grammatically:
"I realized this morning that, if this war is to be fought, the leaders should want to win. They should be warriors and not politicians."

You write: They could care less unless their domain is threatened.

I suggest: They couldn't care less unless their domain is threatened.

I like your author's notes, where you give some rationale. It would be a help if you'd indicate where on the Dark Lord Potter forums I should go. A URL would be ideal.