Review for The Demon that Lived

The Demon that Lived

(#) Shadowdrake 2011-09-20

There were a few decent ideas in the story, but honestly, there were so many problems that I have to recommend against reading. Let's jut say that if you say in one chapter that Minerva is getting the Stone and Hagrid hunting some critter Harry shouldn't meet Hagrid getting the Stone in the next chapter.

Oh, and inheritances are just insane. 2 billion galleons are $150 billion! That's probably more galleons than are in circulation in the whole wizarding world as well. Spending even a fraction would cause economic trouble that'd collapse many countries. And that's without the truly insane amounts from the other families.

Then there was the reaction to the blocks Harry had placed on him. Hello? The non-reaction doesn't fit - actually it seems representative of a larger problem. You have some ideas of what you want to happen and the characters change however needed to make it happen, but that leaves the characters broken.

And those are just some of the logical problems present in the story. If you take the effort to go back and fix it, the story may become entertaining, but as is, it isn't.

Author's response

Allright I get what your saying but could you help me change it and how to change it since I don't know how