Wow. Large impact much? I was very impressed. By payment did you mean in a physical way? If not, please forgive my over imaginative mind. I really enjoyed it. The desperation, the hopelessness, everything was beautifully done. I was listening to 'My Way Home Is Through You' while reading this and I thought it fit perfectly. At one point yous ay she is 15 then again you say she is 16 then you say 15 again. That was the only major flaw I saw. Otherwise, I like it very much. Looking forward to more.
Author's response
Thank you so much i've been planning this story for awhile now. I ment in a sexual way, but i thought i'd leave that for a different chapter.
And i never even noticed that, so i'll change that now, But i'm changing the whole story. well her age anyway and the way the story was going to go has changed, so i hope you'll still follow.
Thank your for your review. i hope yo see more form you.