ROFLMAO! Wow, damn, I'm glad I put my mug of coffee down when I started reading this, because if not, bad things would have happened to the monitor and keyboard.
This was just hilarious and naughty, all the way to the end. Damn, those Elves sure look like a million dollars in tiny, skin tight track shorts. I didn't know whether to laugh or drool at each description of shapely buttocks and ample packages.
Whoa, that Feanor! Needless to say I love him to bits. He's got some guts, hitting on Varda, but he's on to her and I bet they had some fun, later. And the way he gets rid of the pesky ref. is 100% Feany.
This story was priceless. If you have not shared it on LJ, please do and I'm sure others will have a huge laugh when they read it. Thanks for digging it up for me. ;)