It was...eh. Your writing is pretty good, but you should go back and try to fix the mistakes that the spellchecker missed. Agreed instead of agree, invisibility coat instead of cloak. Things like that. Next time, try for something with a little more substance to it. We want to read a steak sandwich, not lettuce on Melba toast.
Author's response
Thanks for your review. Like i said it was a first try and i really appreciate your advice. I went back and fixed the spelling mistake - thanks for pointing them out to me..Thanks a lot..