I love the way that Sephiroth's disapproval is equal for dirty magazines and guns. Then it's lovely that it turns out to actually be a combination and thagt Zack notes that she'd holding her gun incorrectly.
You paint the nasty dirty details of life as a Soldier in exquisite detail. Your wit is clearly honed to a razor's edge. I love Zack's poetical musings about the vomit coloured paint.
That Sephiroth greets every one of Zack's antics with the locker room contraband with "put that back" is wonderful. The way you write Sephiroth, he strikes me as the sort who is very squeamish about any sort of wrongdoing. I think that's very believable given his skill and his impeccable reputation as a warrior.
I adore that Sephiroth actually considers Zack's suggestion that they fit Cloud with an anti-theft device because Zack is so good at being verbally convincing.
This is such an amusing story. Cloud is just the sort to get stuffed into a locker every week like clockwork. It's amazing the way you manage to keep the characters convincing and also manage to produce such wonderful comedy at the same time.