Review for Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

(#) tortillachip 2011-11-20

This is great!! I've actually had a really good day and this is like the perfect way to end it. Just relaxing and reading great stories. I really like how the emotions in the chapter change drastically from beggining to end. It started off silly and funny, and next your shocked and surprised about what's happening, but it doesn't come at you too quickly. It doesn't just go from Frank joking around to Frank seeing all this stuff happen to this kid. You take your time to develop the plot. A lot of authors don't that, and I know when I write a review things just come tumbling out in the order I think them in, and that's the reason why I like your stories so much. You take your time. I also like that line about Mikey and his "baby gazelle-like legs". I can imagine it's dark outside and Frank has his arms around Mikey and he's trying to walk and Frank is like "you can do it". It's one of those scenes that you just have to kinda think is so cute, even given the situation. One more thing, I like how you set the mood. That part when you say that "God himself has had enough of New Jersey’s sinners." That part before when Frank's expecting something beautiful, but doesn't get it. It gives you a hint as to what you're supposed to feel, and then you go on to the scene where Frank sees Mikey and then you know that those lines were setting you up to feel like you do when you read it. Well, this is well done, well written, and I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

Author's response

Thank you very much! I'm glad that you had a nice day - you deserve it! I'm pleased that you saw it as devoloping instead of being dragged out, I was a little worried that this chapter went on too long. I know I'm not supposed to think this (because I wrote it) but I kinda liked the gazelle line too because I think (and hope) that it conveys the cute innocence of Mikey's undeserving character. Your reviews are always so nice, uplifting and always brighten my day - I can't even begin to let you know how much it means to me! The next chapter should hopefully be up soon, I've planned this story out (in a kinda worryingly obssessive way) so writing the chapters out, in theory, shouldn't take too long. Thank you very much for taking the time to review - I'm glad that you liked it! :)