There are so many things that I want to say about this. This was wonderful. I really like this line. " I wonder how much Gerard would give to have one weekend without having to be the responsible one." He never really had to be the responsible one, or at least it wouldn't seem like responsibility. A responsibility seems like something you HAVE to take care of or do, but you'd rather not. Like homework. "Because Gee isn’t evil, isn’t nasty and spiteful as his earlier words may lead some misinformed people to believe; he just tries too hard to be the perfection that he isn’t." This is why it seems like a responsibility. He's trying to be perfect. A perfect parent to a kid that's been broken down too many times to count, and he's wrapped up in his want, his need to be perfect that he's got no room to care for somebody else. Not even his brother. How dare Mikey want to spend some time with him like they used to? Nothing's like it used to be. They're both parentless and have their own problems and care for each other so much that they don't know how to deal with it. I'm not sure if this makes sense, and it seems like I'm missing a big part of what I mean, but I think the idea of Gerard putting Mikey aside in order to perfect himself came across so clearly and vividly. "I can’t look after Mikes without this job." That's what it shouldn't been. Looking after, not being his parent when all he needed was a brother. It seems like right now you can't even look after him at all with the way you've been acting.I can't wait until Gerard gets one of those real powerful realizations that he's not perfect and never will be. Can never come close, but being a good brother and friend should take care of that. I really like the way this chapter started. It was such a clever way to start it and that line made you wonder what you were talking about.
The line about the clothes made so much sense. It was like Mikey was letting the clothes swallow him, or he was drowning in them much like he was drowning in all that Gerard said and all that has happened to him in his life. I loved this so much. I loved everything about this from the way you wrote the first lines to the way you wrote the last lines and the lines in-between. This was beautifully wrote and well done. I love it.
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Author's response
Thank you soooo much for leaving such a long and detailed review; it really is extremely helpful!
I completely understand what you're saying and it is exactly what I was hoping to convey, so I'm glad that it made sense.
Thanks for saying that it was clever; although the plot for this is planned, I write the chapters as they come in one long laptop session so I'm never quite sure if they're any good or make any sense at all. With the first line I wanted to set the, I don't know, mood (?) of the chapter, so I hope that worked innsome way or another.
I wasn't too sure about the clothes-drowning-him thing; whether it actually made sense or if I sounded like some sort of nutter with an obsession about over-sized t-shirts, but I'm pleased that you think that it worked.
Thank you very much for taking the time to leave such a detailed and lovely review (as always). Thanks! :)