This is certainly not stupid! I actually really liked the idea and it was delivered so cleverly. I don't think this was rushed at all. I think it's paced really well. It doesn't fly by so you're like "What happened?" But it doesn't drag out so the reader is bored. Though Christmas is over, people still have Christmas decorations out. It's the same concept. People don't always take down Christmas decorations down the day after so it's not a big deal that this is up after Christmas. Anyway, I really liked the paragraph with the shouting. I just thought that was so clever and it effectively showed how he feels about himself when he causes his whole family to shout at each other. It was a really smart thing to make it seem like it would be a full on happy story. Then you read the "who am I kidding?" part and you know this story isn't going to be happy. You always give the reader something they don't expect, and I believe that surprises make the story. I really liked how Frank was trying to get Mikey to talk to him. It was gentle and kind and it was really sweet that he wanted to help him so much. And when he shares his own little story about bullying and what he feels because of it. He doesn't know a thing about Mikey, but he knows that he's not a bad person and he shouldn't feel the way he does because of the bullies. I think it's so sweet that Frank's bullied also because he can just understand what Mikey goes through. I also liked that Mikey saying he was alone was really important to him. He's a complete strange and he doesn't know anything other than what he's been told, but one thing he knows is that Mikey isn't going to be alone. And he had to kiss him on the nose to tell him that, which I thought was really sweet. I loved this. Also, I thought that the line with "leaving me all alone in a world too cold to handle withouth he warmth of my only friend." was really good. This line up until "without the warmth of my only friend" could be a song lyric. I really liked the part where the bully confronts Mikey. It was really clever and if was written really well. Lastly, I liked that Frank was described as pale. He's always olive or golden or well tanned, but pale in this story made him see more likely that he got bullied. He's an angel, like Mikey says, and if he was tan or olive or golden other people would notice and then he wouldn't get bullied and he wouldn't even connect with Mikey. That is, if he was even in the tree with his golden skin in the first place. Also, when I hear Frank and panda in the same sentence all I can think about is that photo shoot they did with that giant inflatable panda. Well, I really liked this. It was beautiful and clever and just wonderful. Great job!!!
Author's response
Thank you very much; I'm glad that you don't think that this is stupid!
I wanted to use the shouting to show how alone Mikey feels/is because he feels like nobody likes him (aside from Gerard).
I'm pleased that you liked how it went from being happy to being a bit of a downer, I was worried that it was a stupid way to start or that it made no sense so I'm really glad that you think that worked.
I wanted this to be a sweet Frikey one-shot, so it's really nice that you think it is sweet and not rushed/boring like it kinda felt to be to me.
Thank you very much for taking the time to leave such an uplifting and detailed review; it really does motivate me to write! :)