You nailed her voice, absolutely nailed it. And kudos for not making Tifa hate Aeris. They didn't hate each other in the game. Tifa closed Aeris' eyes and ran away crying.
I think you mean that Cloud was talking about Aeris in the "present tense," (does, is, has) but you said "first person" (I do, I am, I have). That was a bit confusing.
(sigh) Yuffie's being all meaning of life and insightful and still all she can think of is setting things on fire with shiney-sparklie candles.
Things do seem a bit too idyllic, though. I figured that Midgar was destroyed at the end. Wouldn't that mean that Reeve was dead? Where exactly is this new Seventh Heaven?