If you continue with this, I have a few tips for you:
1) Capital Letters
2) Actual Paragraphs
3) Correct Grammar
4) Punctuation
5) Spaces After the Periods
6) No elipses unless you're being suspenseful or leading up to something and
7) DETAIL
Hope that helps.
Author's response
thank you thank you! this does help! :) its just i was typing really quick and i was runnig out of ideas :( sorry