I'm gonna be honest here, your first version (the MCR frerard one) of this was pretty good. I enjoyed it. But this? I'm sorry, but it just seems cheap to me that all you did was change names. =/
Author's response
I'm glad you liked the MCR version. You should review it on there.
But if you paid attention, you'd realise that changing names was the point.
The original was actually in the AFI section, but people like different bands and different pairings. I posted it 3 times with different names because I'm kinda proud of this and nobody was reviewing.
Yes, it's kinda pathetic that I rely on reviews and comments on various sites to raise my self esteem, but when my closest friend lives 3 hours/£45 away from me and my family likes to tell me everything I do is wrong, so the praise I get online actually means quite a lot to me.
AND this was actually posted before the MCR one.