This probably sounds super mean but...
It really isn't good, maybe if you edit it; like when some speaks put " at the beginning of the word and at the end, otherwise it gets confusing.
and if you do continue this story, don't rush into Freard.
Sorry, don't mean to sound rude :/
Welcome to Ficwad btw! :)
- xo Dangerous Amber
Author's response
Hey the first chapter sucks I did it at school don't worry :) thanks for the reveiw anyway ^_^